Fruit Bugs, Vintage Clothes and Accumulation and Don't Forget Your 18 Year Olds

Food:

My wife sometimes ripens fruit in the kitchen. In the summer it seems to attract nat like insects.  If you don't want to put the fruit in the frig or to cover it, you can take a small glass and pour a little orange juice in it. Put a funnel into the glass. The insects will be attracted to the orange juice and drown. For those of you who went to camp, this is not how you make bug juice.

Vintage Clothes

I am about to end the caregiver period of my life. Apart from it being draining it has left me with a bunch of vintage men's and women's clothes, hats and shoes. I have posted some pictures in case you like vintage or quality clothes. A lot I have already donated, but I am still have left a good amount. I was never adquainted with the vintage clothes world before this and it is interesting. There are a few, mostly woman, high quality shops. There inventory is limited and generally they cannot command the price of new clothes. It is not unusual to see better quality vintage clothes of equal condition to new clothes at a fraction of the cost. It takes more effort to do this shopping, so women's clothes predominate. Most men still do not consider shopping a sport.

My Dad was the exception. He was a clothes horse. About 5'9" and between 160-185 lbs. depending on the period of his life, he was bigger than my son or I. My son seems to have inherited part of his clothes DNA, but I may as well have been adopted. He started shopping at Paul Stuart when it was a small store and knew the owner. I am convinced I got my first name from Brooks Brothers, but both of my parents deny it. I have in great condition wonderful sport jackets and suits from both, as well as named brand hats from Stetson, Cavanagh, English makers (Herbert Johnson, Lock & Co., Hilhouse  Co.) and Austrian maker, Thomas Begg. A couple of hat photos are posted. If you like hats like these let me know.

My Mom was very small. Her foot size was 5M. Her high heals I suspect are to die for (or so I have been told by vintage stores for whom size is the problem). Most are Pacelle from Saks, but there are also some unique handcrafted shoes. Some of her remaining petite dresses, skirts, suits and capes are also appealing for someone her size. Photos of some high heel shoes and some dresses and jackets are posted. If you are the size and like vintage clothes let me know.

What I have learned in the process of emptying their home is how much many of us have and how hard it is to transfer your parents' property while being respectful to them. I have rarely felt good about giving things away even though I have contributed a lot through Housing Works and Union Temple. The best I felt was in the parking lot of Goodwill on Long Island. 

Like many boys my age cowboy and Western stuff was prized. I was giving away one such piece, although I am not sure what it is called. Animals sometimes have it drapped below their neck when pulling a wagon. I assume it was a type of halter.  A Dad who surprisingly had a little boy who liked Western stuff approached me and asked me how much I wanted for it. I just gave it to him. He continued to gush about how much his son would love this. I could visualize the child's smile. I found a good home.

There are sometimes so many barriers to contributing things today that it just becomes easier to dispose of it. I am not sure if it is a reflection of our society or just inefficient  distribution channels. Dealers have always fed off of this, particularly as many charities are just resellers. The administration of "in kind" giving overwhelms them and underwhelms the giver.

Having been like an only child throughout the whole caregiving and distribution process I have thought of my only child and many children like him.  I think of the burden that will be placed on our children when they have to dispose of all we have acquired. We had books, records, CDs and other objects that are even today becoming obsolete. Some children and parents would of course be greatful to have the burden of this luxury. Nonetheless for only children the weight will be great. It is a worldwide problem, particularly in Germany, Japan, Portugal and China. Even before the economic crash about 1 in 5 families in the US had only a single child. A substantial part of this growth has come from single mother households where the ratio of caregiver to recipient will be 1:1. Nonetheless, from healthcare, to caregiving, to disposal of a lifetime of property and memories, it is a ticking time bomb for many of our children.

Legal Notes:

You don't think of it when your child becomes 18 and moves away or goes off to college. Even without moving the responsibility for making his or her healthcare decisions shifts.

You may have a healthcare proxy, living will and durable power of attorney for you and your spouse, but without being morbid, you may want to think about one for your new adult. In many cases they do not have a lot of assets, so the power of attorney may be of lesser concern, but accidents unfortunately do happen. Addressing these risks are important should they lose the mental capacity to do so before they enter an emergency room of a hospital.